I'm in my mid 30s. I have spent most of my life single. My short lived, seemingly promising relationships up to the point I contacted Summer would have only added up to about a little over two years of my life. Guys I dated would seem to fall hard for me, than break it off, usually fairly abruptly. I would be too afraid to ask to work on problem, but it always seemed to final, it seemd if I spoke up these guys I dated had already made up their minds for good. I couldn't understand it. I was attractive, I have a great personality, I am responsible yet fun, and I have a lot of friends who all seem to have similar opinions of me, that I'm pretty darn likable, someone that others feel good around, and someone worthy of respect. So why do guys only "love" me for one, three, or six months and then get over me? More importantly what could I do to change that?
Most people I talked to were not helping me process my past relationships, I felt. They would remind me I had value, which I knew, and they would blame the guys for the ends of those relationships for various reasons, expressing that I was amazing and did not have a part in those relationships not succeeding.
They intended to be supportive, but it felt like they were telling me I was a victim of commitment phobic people and not an active player in these relationships. And the guys I dated were not commitment phobes. They often entered into long term relationships, some ending in marriage, shortly after their brief romances with me. None of the people I approached for feedback and help processing believed I had a pattern. They told me it was simply chance that my relationships were not lasting. They told me it had nothing to do with me, or anything I was doing or not doing. Sure, I get that these guys all had a part in those relationships ending, however I was the common denominator in every relationship I entered into. If the same thing was happening over and over again in my life I most likely had a part in it.
Summer was the first person to help me take action. I wasn't sure if relationships were for me, but I wanted to make sure I was making this decision for the right reasons. Summer reminded me to follow my desire when I had learned over and over to follow my logic and not my feelings. She help me to focus on what felt natural, instead of listening to the relationship advice tapes running through my head that I heard time and again from other people. Most of all, she helped me to realize I was not a victim, that this situation was not happening TO me, but that I was an active participant. I could speak up if something was bothering me. I did not have to justify why it was bothering me to myself before choosing to speak up. I could simply respectfully speak up to a guy I was seeing about my needs. I could start conversations about our relationship.
It is now around four and a half to five months since our calls began, and I am over four months in to the most connected, mature and happiest relationship in my life to date. It is not yet my longest relationship, but it feels like it will be making it past the six month mark, which is the longest I have ever been in a relationship. Summer has helped me to step outside of family patterns and my own comfort zone to open myself up for the positiviy of the love I now have and am building. One that my boyfriend and I believe is lasting. I am excited to see where my relationship is going and I am enjoying being an active participant in it. I would recommend Summer to anyone who believes they have a pattern they want to break but cannot figure out how!"
-Anna S. Read More